The Borowitz Report Endorses Kamala Harris
NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Borowitz Report)—The
Borowitz Report, the last surviving media outlet not owned by a
billionaire, broke with its longstanding policy of impartiality in
elections on Monday by endorsing Kamala Harris for president of the
United States.
“We did not take this decision
lightly,” TBR’s editorial board wrote. “But after carefully weighing the
strengths and weaknesses of the two presidential candidates, The
Borowitz Report has decided to endorse the one who does not resemble
Hitler.”
The decision to endorse Harris caused the
resignation of TBR’s top business executive, Harland Dorrinson, who
called it “a violation of the mainstream media’s most sacred duty: to
maximize profits.”
“Others at The Borowitz Report
may be able to stomach this decision, but I cannot,” he wrote in his
resignation letter. “It contradicts everything I learned at Harvard
Business School and McKinsey.”